Happily Married Couple......blah!

So I'm cleaning off my coffee table and I see my weekly Jet magazine. I decide to take a minute and thumb through it. Of course I see the page of those who recently got married. Back in the day I used to say "awwww....I want to be that smiling bride", but now...not so much. 

Even on my wedding day I was not a smiling bride...I was in a state of confusion. I felt so much pressure that I completely lost track of why I was there. Oh yeah to get married...duh. As I sit on Facebook, I look at the status messages of my friends who are married and they have some great things to say about their spouses. Me..not so much. I was recently added to a group "Happily Married Couples!" I instantly removed myself from that group. I refuse to be associated with something that I no longer believe in. 

So why did I get married.....LOL! That's the question of the hour...when I find out I will let you know. LOL! I have a few friends who are either engaged or married. For those who are engaged, I have offered my support to them. I wish them the best...no need for them to know my anger and frustration.  For those who are married...I just say hey.....you are doing a better job at it than I am. Do I consider myself jealous of them.....of course! I'm not afraid to admit that. I wanted that power couple (be jealous) of me marriage.....I guess that dream died.